Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.